19 Women Share The “Microsexist” Behaviors They Are Completely Done Tolerating

Many behaviors come across as blatantly misogynistic. However, there are also subtly sexist behaviors, which most of society ignores or even deems “normal.” These attitudes and beliefs continue to negatively impact women…

That’s why when I recently decided to ask the women of the BuzzFeed Community to share the “microsexist” behaviors they were tired of dealing with, I received dozens of responses. From eye contact to age gaps, here are 19 of their most thought-provoking examples:

Some responses were also taken from these two Reddit threads.

If you know of any sneakily sexist behaviors that society mostly ignores, feel free to tell us in the comments or use this anonymous form!

1. “Believing that women don’t know about ‘guy things,’ especially when we go for car maintenance. Within the first five minutes of the conversation, most of the mechanics are talking down to us.”

“I had four new tires installed on my car, and one of them went flat. I returned to the store for a replacement tire, as per their warranty policy. It turns out that there was no warranty because they never offered one, despite insisting they had, while also claiming we had denied it. The tech started arguing with me, encouraged his friend to agree with everything he said, and additional managers were called, but nothing was resolved.

I left in tears because it was my birthday and I was heading out of town, so I missed my own party. A call to the corporate office put me in touch with a district manager who contacted the store manager. The store manager called me, apologized, and I got a free tire. The tech who refused to help me had so many complaints against him from female customers that he was fired. His friend saw me a week later to get the tire and commented to an employee that I was a bitch. I thanked him for the compliment and reminded him that the store manager was working that day, which shut him down quickly.”

—Anonymous

Related: Divorced People Are Sharing The Wildest Thing They Or Their Spouse Did After The Split, And It’s Absolutely Mindblowing

2. “College professor here: Despite holding two terminal degrees, students will address me by my first name, but always use ‘professor’ or ‘doctor’ when addressing male instructors, even if they don’t hold a terminal degree.”

“Students are also generally more informal with female instructors, yet they rate us more harshly than our male counterparts. “

—Anonymous

3. “Women are the ones who are expected to move out of the way on a footpath or in a hallway if a man and a woman are walking toward each other.”

—u/wwaxwork

“One of my new hobbies as a menopausal woman who doesn’t care anymore is to let them run into me.”

—u/Special-Longjumping

4. “As someone who participates in a lot of male-dominated activities and is used to being the only woman in the room, it is absolutely wild how much male socialization is based almost entirely around misogyny. And they know it, because these are comments they wouldn’t dare say to my face, because they recognize it would be insulting.”

“But they have no problem aiming these comments at each other, not recognizing that it’s no less misogynistic because the intended target is a man. And it’s not even based on any of the warped logic that sexists usually use, which is baffling. It doesn’t actually have to BE feminine to be used as an insult, just implied to be associated with women.

The number of grown men I know who are absolutely obsessed with menstruation and menstrual products as a sign of fragility is wild. I’ve begun to point out how dumb they sound, because it’s no longer amusing; it’s just sad.”

—lobster_lemon_lime

5. “People think it’s unusual that I’m older than my husband — not by years but by mere MONTHS, and we met in our late twenties.”

“Yet these same people don’t even blink when a couple begins dating at seventeen and thirteen, as long as the older one is a boy.”

—Anonymous, 39-USA

6. “Some men won’t make eye contact with me during a conversation, particularly if my husband is present. “

“Being talked over and ignored is all too common, but not even being able to look me in the face after I’ve asked a question or made a comment is beyond frustrating.”

—selenakyle5

Related: People Are Sharing The Unexpected Things That Made Them “Fall Out Of Love” With A Long-Term Partner, And It’s Shockingly Real

7. “After moving to a beach town in 2020, I walked into a golf cart dealership to buy a cart to drive around town. I had been eyeing it for a few weeks and had the funds available in my checking account to pay for it outright. The owner, a man in his early 70s, checked for a ring on my left hand and insisted that he had to call my husband and get permission for me to spend my money from an account in my name only.”

“I told him my husband was not on the account I was using. He became very agitated and refused to take my bank card until I provided my husband’s phone number. I refused. Eventually, his wife told him to let me pay, and he started yelling at her, telling her to shut up.

I told him he could take my money or I’d take my business to the next town, and his wife finally ran my bank card. To this day, I wish I’d just walked out….”

—silverpizza512

8. “Mortgage and home ownership documents always list the man first for no particular reason. I always try to list my female clients first!”

—Anonymous, 47, Denver

9. “I practiced Kung Fu for six years, yet the guys I learned alongside would go easy on me because they genuinely didn’t believe I could beat them. Mind you, I had eight medals from national tournaments: five gold and three silver.”

“Additionally, I was at the same weight, and even the instructors believed that I was at the same level, if not better, than they were at sparring.

At the end, though, when the instructors finally forced them to fight realistically with me, I beat most of them.”

—Anonymous, 18, Texas

10. “I am a regular volunteer at a food pantry. Sometimes, I will ask older clients if they need help with their bags, and they will decline, only to ask for help from the man next to me. They don’t make a huge thing of it, but it bothers me.”

“I’m very feminine-looking and don’t have large arm muscles, but I am literally there to help people carry their bags. If I were physically unable to do that, I would volunteer elsewhere.

The cherry on top is that, typically, the man standing next to me that day is only there to fulfill a one-time service requirement, while I show up every time, no matter if I need service or not, and have been doing so for years. I’ve only had a few instances of this, but it’s very annoying when it happens.”

—Anonymous

Related: 17 Sex-Less Scenes That Are So Hot, You’ll Be Blushing Anyway

11. “Shoes — it is really all clothes, hair, and makeup, but shoes are the worst. If a woman wears comfortable shoes, she is perceived as less feminine and is often ridiculed for it.”

“Professionally, women are often expected to wear uncomfortable shoes, whereas men are often allowed to wear comfortable shoes because somehow, the idea of wearing uncomfortable shoes is ridiculous for men.”

—u/harpejjist

12. “Nearly all CPR training dummies are flat-chested, which leaves a lot of people afraid to give CPR to a woman.”

—u/friendly-sardonic

“This is how the sexualization of breasts literally kills women. We’re not trained on dummies with breasts, we’re afraid to give CPR when there are breasts, and I’m certain there are a whole lot of people who would be uncomfortable removing a woman’s shirt to use an AED where they wouldn’t care for a man.”

—u/Arashi5

13. “I like the Beatles, which is uncommon considering my age. If I say that I like the Beatles to a guy my age, who probably knows next to nothing about them, he’ll ask me to name five songs or something similar, but if a guy were to say the same thing, he wouldn’t be questioned, and everyone would think, ‘Okay, cool.'”

—Anonymous

14. “I hate older men telling me to smile in public. I always respond that my mom just died and they should keep those comments to themselves. My mom is alive and healthy, but it drives me nuts that they expect me to be sunny and happy in public, just for the male gaze. Never in my life has a woman said this to me. Leave me and my RBF alone!”

—Anonymous, 30, Colorado

15. “In my 30 years of working, I’ve found that female employees are more often than not expected to keep the office kitchen clean, bring in baked goods for everyone’s birthday, and organize any work events.”

“All of this while getting paid less than men for the same job.”

—Anonymous

16. “I work in the technical sector of a large company. Many times, it has bothered me when my boss is speaking at a meeting and he’ll point toward me and say ‘I want [her] to get upset over excessive forwarded emails,’ then point to another female employee and say ‘I want [her] to get irritated about personnel changes’ and turn to a third woman with another item to be infuriated by.”

“But the men present? Oh, they aren’t expected to find anything unsettling or ask questions. The boss will be all chummy and funny with them.

It’s absurd that in a room with 10 men and three women, the only ones who are directly pointed to about being harried are the women.”

—Anonymous, 40, Nevada

Related: “Don’t Make Me Tie You Up”: Men Share 27 NSFW Things Women Have Whispered To Them That Made Them Instantly Lose Their Minds

17. “I’ve attended so many meetings where the (male or female) client will address the junior staff member — a 21-year-old guy — as though he is senior to me, the 29-year-old manager.”

“Funnily enough, I’ve learned to use it to my advantage. I always request older male clients, and they are, without fail, the friendliest and quickest to respond to my queries. I let my male colleagues handle the female clients. It sucks, but it works!”

—Anonymous, 29, UK

18. “This one is specific to politics: A man in politics will be criticized for their bad policies in articles and the news, but an entire article will be written on how much a female politician’s watch costs, despite the fact that she also has bad policies.”

—Anonymous

19. “The way people gush over how ‘lucky’ I am that I have a husband who pulls his weight, caregiving for our kids, and keeping our household running.”

“However, he is never told how ‘lucky’ he is to have a wife who contributes a significant portion of our income by working.”

—u/writergirlATX

Did any of these examples surprise you? What are some “microsexist” behaviors and habits you’ve noticed? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Also in Sex & Love: I’m Totally Speechless After Reading These 16 Bizarre One-Night Stand Stories

Also in Sex & Love: “She’d Divorce Me Without Question If She Knew”: Married Men Are Anonymously Confessing The Secrets They’re Keeping From Their Wives

Also in Sex & Love: “The Bastard Tricked Me”: 15 Married Couples Are Recalling The Biggest Secrets They Discovered From Their Partners AFTER They Tied The Knot

Read it on BuzzFeed.com