Degrading comments and death threats came fast and furious on Paula Sofia Schonauer’s social media. The director of the Counseling Center at Oklahoma City University, who is transgender, had commented on the death of right-wing, anti-LGBTQ+ activist Charlie Kirk, unleashing a flurry of negative responses that caused her to go viral. Next came the consequences.
“As a target of Charlie Kirk, I must admit, there is a grudging satisfaction that one who has wielded hate and stochastic terrorism is getting a taste of his own medicine,” Schonauer wrote. “As a citizen of the United States, I am appalled by gun violence, and I send to his family thoughts and prayers.”
Detractors descended upon her swiftly, and she responded to one, saying, “ I lament the conditions that produced his violent death, the bereavement of his wife and children, and the inevitable backlash that is likely to land on vulnerable people who deserve no less empathy than you demand of me.”
“I cannot, however, feel empathy for him. He helped construct the very conditions that took his life and did so gleefully,” she wrote. “Do not shame me for feeling a certain amount of vindication at the death of an oppressor. I certainly know that some people will rejoice at my own demise.”
Soon her social media accounts – and her phone – blew up with hateful comments.
Related: Charlie Kirk’s most anti-LGBTQ+ quotes
“What a disgusting, inhuman, TDS [Trump Derangement Syndrome]-loving pig you are,” stated one caller. “You should not be directing anything, you disgusting, ugly, fat-ass pig. You are gross and a waste of humanity.”
Schonauer was doxxed, and her personal information was put on display for haters to find her.
“This will be made public,” said someone who called Schonauer’s employers at the university about her post. “And you need to be ready to back why you have employed this confused person.”
The 59-year-old is a U.S. Army Gulf War Veteran and a former Officer of the Year for the Oklahoma City Police Department. After she transitioned in the late 1990s and early 2000s, Schonauer was forced to fight for her job, but she did so successfully and retired in 2014.
Paula Sofia Schonauer during her time with the Oklahoma City Police Department
Paula Sofia Schonauer during her time with the Oklahoma City Police Departmentcourtesy pictured
Schonauer chose another path, that of counseling. She had worked for years serving others as both an officer and a soldier, and counseling gave her yet another way to use her skills. It was a successful choice; a licensed clinical social worker, she was named director of OCU’s counseling center in 2023, a position that had filled her with purpose. Married, Schonauer celebrated her 19th year with her spouse, Pam, on September 10. She had even recently been awarded a certificate of appreciation by OCU as one of the university’s Influential Women of 2025.
But even as she was well known, liked, and celebrated by much of Oklahoma City’s community, Oklahoma is still a conservative red state that famously voted in all its 77 counties to elect President Donald Trump in the last election. Oklahoma City, where Schonauer worked and still lives, is the seat of its conservative government. Just up the street from Schonauer’s office is that of far-right former State Schools Superintendent Ryan Walters, who last year appointed infamous anti-LGBTQ+ activist Chaya Raichik, who runs the Libs of TikTok social accounts, to the state’s board of education.
Libs of TikTok would become one of many social accounts to target Schonauer after her comments about Kirk. On September 16, it posted a link with a picture of Schonauer waving from a float in Oklahoma City’s Pride Parade, posting a cherry-picked version of Paula’s statement.
“Paula Sophia Schonauer is the Director of Counseling at Oklahoma City University. She allegedly posted this after Charlie was kiIIed saying she got ‘satisfaction.’”
However, when the account holder learned Paula was trans, it posted a sarcastic “correction.”
“*VERY IMPORTANT CORRECTION*” the post states. “‘Paula Sophia’ is actually a dude pretending to be a woman. He’s a therapist and is the director of ‘Counseling Services’ at @OKCU. How can a mentally ill man who thinks he’s a woman be in charge of mental health?! Make it make sense.”
Some social posts listed the names and numbers of college administrators, and the calls and emails began pouring in, Schonauer said. That’s when the university got involved.
Termination
Schonauer said she has had a great relationship with her boss. But with the threats flowing into the university, she was told by the human resources office to meet with her supervisor. When she arrived at the supervisor’s office, the supervisor was crying.
“I told her, ‘Let’s cut to the chase. I’m being fired, aren’t I?”
The supervisor said yes. Schonauer got up and walked out. A day later, she got the letter from OCU.
“She had told me initially that she didn’t think my posts were that bad,” Paula said. “But now she sends me this letter and she handpicked, ‘cannot feel empathy for him,’ ‘a certain amount of vindication for the death of an oppressor,’ just totally out of context to the rest of what I said.”
Schonauer’s boss and OCU would not comment on the details of Schonauer’s termination, but the university said in a statement that it continues to advocate for “respectful discourse and tolerance among our community members.”
Related: Meet the transgender Marine Corps vet running for Congress in Pennsylvania
“We hold our employees to high standards of conduct, and we act with the well-being of our entire university community in mind,” the statement said. “While we cannot provide details on specific personnel situations, we can say we remain firmly committed to fostering a safe, welcoming, and affirming campus.”
Something in Schonauer snapped. An old plan, a very old plan, sprang to mind, the one she had decided to use when she served as a police officer almost 30 years ago, when her fellow officers harassed her for transitioning.
In those days, Schonauer had watched how her colleagues would share and mock crime scene photos. She knew that should she meet an untimely end, these officers would celebrate and chortle over her death pictures.
Well, they wouldn’t, she decided. She would drive to a secluded rural area she knew of outside the city’s police jurisdiction, take her service sidearm, and shoot herself in the head. The plan easily snapped back into place.
“I am kind of shocked, really, that it came up so quickly [after my firing at OCU], that old plan,” Schonauer said.
She got into her pickup and began what she thought would be her final journey. She was going to a place so remote that by the time they found her body, it would have decayed beyond recognition. Those officers couldn’t make fun of her if they couldn’t recognize her.
Even as suicidal ideation is highly prevalent in the LGBTQ+ community, it also occurs with high frequency in the lives of police officers. A 2023 study from the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law found 42 percent of transgender adults have attempted suicide, while police officers have about a 60 percent higher suicide rate than the general population, according to several studies. A committed, 22-year veteran of the police force, Schonauer faced a double dose.
However, as she neared the city limits, she experienced what she couldn’t help but describe as a miracle. Her pickup broke down catastrophically. An engine part called a “harmonic damper” malfunctioned and caused the engine to begin tearing itself apart. The truck overheated, and Schonauer had to pull over next to a McDonald’s at the edge of town.
Schonauer stood alone next to her smoking vehicle on the side of the road. That’s when a random family stopped to help. The act of kindness pulled Schonauer out of what she termed a “death spiral” and gave her the strength to turn around, pick herself up, and face the path homeward. Schonauer said she will always be grateful to that family who helped and had no idea of the dark abyss from which they had pulled her.
“They offered me two bottles of coolant they had. I could tell by the looks on their faces they were concerned about me,” Schonauer said. “When that family helped me, it pulled me out of that spiral. I couldn’t get back into the frame of mind for self-destruction after they helped me.”
Schonauer, a former deacon in the Episcopal Church, added, “My wife says it’s a God thing, and I have to agree.”
But what next? Look for a new job? Leave town? Get a lawyer? Even as plans were up in the air for Schonauer, the calls, comments, and letters of support started.
Petitions and choices
A letter from a longtime OCU alum whose parents had started departments in the university wrote to the university’s president, Kenneth Evans. “I was frankly shocked to read about the termination of Paula Schonauer,” she wrote. “Paula is a respected public figure and civic leader in our purple city and in our state, and someone with wide support for her courage and example. I have assumed that the academic institutions I have had personal contact with and regard for would not so quickly and easily capitulate to political fear and extremist pressures.”
\u200bPaula Sofia Schonauer
Paula Sofia Schonauercourtesy pictured
“I am writing to express my outrage at the unjust termination of Paula Schonauer,” wrote another. “I have known Ms. Schonauer for 18 years and can attest that she is the very epitome of compassion and ethics which, in my estimation, should make her a prized resource for your institution in her position as Director of Counseling Services. Evidently Oklahoma City University is also no longer an institution that values free speech, the first amendment of the US Constitution, or the safety of its transgender (and other minority?) faculty and students. I urge you to reverse this action and demonstrate that the university truly values its students and community.”
Meanwhile, students at OCU began circulating a petition last week for Schonauer’s reinstatement. “I am calling/writing to express my frustration with the unjust termination of Paula Schonauer. This decision betrays the values of free speech and shows that OCU does not uphold its stated commitment to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. I urge you to reverse this action and demonstrate that the university truly values its students and community.”
By Monday, the petition had garnered more than 800 signatures, more than half of the university’s undergraduate enrollment. The flood of well-wishes on her behalf is truly overwhelming, she said. A local venue has recently announced a petition party to garner even more signatures.
Meanwhile, Schonauer and her wife are considering their next steps.
“Pam and I would prefer to stay where we are, in the home we love, and with the community cradling us through this scary time,” Paula wrote on Facebook. “But, I also made a promise to loved ones to stay alive. That means we may have to relocate. Everything is on the table, right now.”
According to a recent article in The New York Times, at least 145 people from all walks of life have been fired from their jobs in the wake of the Charlie Kirk killing for comments regarding his death.
In all this, Schonauer said that even though she feels sheepish telling others about her near-suicide, she hopes those facing what she has faced get a kind word, helpful comment, or helping hand. She asked for those who have LGBTQ+ friends to reach out to them. It might make a difference, she said.
“I would not be here if that family hadn’t reached out to me,” Schonauer said.
If you or someone you know needs mental health resources and support, please call, text, or chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or visit 988lifeline.org for 24/7 access to free and confidential services. Trans Lifeline, designed for transgender or gender-nonconforming people, can be reached at (877) 565-8860. The lifeline also provides resources to help with other crises, such as domestic violence situations. The Trevor Project Lifeline, for LGBTQ+ youth (ages 24 and younger), can be reached at (866) 488-7386. Users can also access chat services at TheTrevorProject.org/Help or text START to 678678.
This article originally appeared on Advocate: Oklahoma trans woman fired over Charlie Kirk comments was nearly driven to suicide
