Bringing home a new baby is tough enough, but the current United States parental leave policy can make things even more difficult. The US only guarantees 12 weeks of unpaid parental leave via Family and Medical Leave (FMLA) — with restrictions about the company’s size and the employee’s tenure — leaving new parents to determine if they can afford extra time with their newborn or to recover after birth.
According to a 2019 Pew Research Center report, “the US is the only country among 41 nations that does not mandate any paid leave for new parents.” They also noted that “the share of moms who are working either full or part time in the United States has increased over the past half-century from 51% to 72%, and almost half of two-parent families now include two full-time working parents.”
The National Institute for Health reports that on average, new moms go back to work after 10 weeks, and that longer leave is “seen primarily among economically advantaged groups, such as college educated, married parents who can afford to take unpaid leave.”
So it’s no surprise that brookiethecookie, aka @adayinaeats on TikTok, recently went viral with a video in which she shared just how difficult the life of a working mother in the US can be. In the video, she can be seen crying at her desk, with a text overlay that says, “me at work because I’m watching my baby sit up for the first time through the monitor.”
@adayinaeats / Via tiktok.com
“Being a working mom is so much harder than I could’ve imagined. Missing the milestones just breaks me,” she said in the caption.
Many commenters were immediately supportive and understanding. “One year of paid federal maternity leave NEEDS to be the standard. I’m glad women are getting louder about this, it’s a huge issue,” said one.
“The US needs to figure something out bc being a parent in this country is so unfair.”
“The US is cruel to families. Every other developed nation has figured out the balance.”
“USA is a third world country in a Gucci belt.”
“It’s crazy how a country can be so obsessed with controlling pregnancy but won’t support moms after birth…”
The conversation made its way over to Twitter (now X), where people discussed parental leave in other nations. “I’m on an 18-month paid leave through the government,” said one person, alongside Canadian flag emojis.
“In Scandinavian countries a year of parental is granted to both parents.”
Some commenters argued that this was a signal that moms shouldn’t be working, period, and should be stay-at-home mothers if they have children. “Proof that marrying a good provider man is a flex. Being a girl boss isn’t.”
“the government isn’t responsible to give you time with your child. this is why choosing a good husband who allows you to be a stay at home mother is so important,” another person said.
“Ladies: Marry a provider husband so you can raise your kids.”
But others fought back, saying raising a family on one income wasn’t affordable these days in America, and that it’s important for women to pursue their careers as well. “sure, go ahead, please you guys show us how you provide for a full family with one salary in this economy,” one person said.
“we need women in universities in the workforce in positions of authority n power. that being said paid maternity leave until your baby is kindergarten age shld be a given.”
Another commenter pointed out that this isn’t just a problem for moms; it’s tough on all parents. “men want to see their babies firsts too and get upset about this EXACT SAME THING,” they said.
And finally, this person summed up the whole discussion pretty succinctly: “America core.”
You can see brookiethecookie’s full video below.
@adayinaeats / Via tiktok.com
Now I’d love to know: if you’re a working parent, what are your thoughts on the S’s parental leave policies? What do you think would be an ideal amount of time to take off for new parents? And if you’re not in the US, what is the parental leave like where you live? Let us know in the comments. And if you’d prefer to remain anonymous, you can fill out the form below.
