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Warning: The post discusses rape, child sexual abuse, and domestic violence.
Sometimes your gut doesn’t whisper, it screams. And when it does, you listen. Recently, I asked women in the BuzzFeed Community to share the moments they just knew something was wrong. From creepy dates to life-or-death close calls, these are the stories of when they trusted their instincts — and were right:
2. “I went to a happy hour event for my husband’s new-ish job. Met a bunch of people, including one of the VPs. She and I spoke for all of five minutes about where she moved from, her kids adjusting to a new school, etc. I got a bad feeling about her. Told my husband on the way home, warning him that she already has a target on his back and others, and to make an email file saving every communication with her. He didn’t believe me. She moved up in the company and fired him 10 months later.”
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3. “I once went out on a date with a guy I met on a dating app. We had been chatting for four weeks, and the date was going great! He seemed so lovely and nice. In the middle of the date, he asked me if I wanted to go home with him afterward. He and I got along really well, but something in my gut was screaming at me not to go. He never reached out to me again. I found out not too long after from my roommate that he murdered another girl that he had taken out on a date and brought home. My gut literally saved my life.”
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4. “My sister and I were driving to Thanksgiving family stuff on the coast. To get there, you have to take a very curvy highway. It was rainy, but we know the road well and were making great time. We were singing along to something on the radio when I suddenly got this feeling that we needed to slow down. I told my sister I thought there was a crash ahead. Sure enough, someone had smashed through the guardrail and into the creek. Emergency services had just arrived and hadn’t put up any flares or flags. If we hadn’t slowed down, we would’ve smacked right into the ambulance crew. That corner creeps me out every time I drive through now.”
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5. “I kept pushing my doctors about a ‘squeezing’ of my heart. I finally had to say I had pain. Turns out my left anterior descending heart artery was 99% blocked. A stent was put in. This saved my life from a heart attack of the widowmaker artery! Why don’t they listen?!”
—Anonymous, 71, AZ
6. “I was staying at a hotel alone when a really handsome guy asked if he could join me for dinner. He said, ‘Since we’re both eating alone anyway.’ I was hesitant but finally agreed. We had a lovely dinner with wine. He said he worked for a company in Italy and was going on a worldwide work trip. He asked me back to his room. I said no. An hour later, he’s at my door knocking. He said he would cash in all his first-class tickets and vouchers and that we should run away to the Caribbean together. He had followed me. I didn’t open the door — I called the front desk and they took care of it. The next day, I heard he had assaulted another female traveler who ended up in the hospital. Bullet dodged.”
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—Anonymous, 71, WV
7. “I was working out of town and had the weekend off. On Saturday morning, I went to a nearby open-air market. There were lots of people and vendors, so I felt like it was safe. I walked around the block to use a public restroom with an open entrance — no door — right by a police station! I was just about to enter a stall when I literally felt the hair on my neck bristle. I felt an overwhelming ‘fight or flight’ emotion. I spun around, and there was a man standing at the entrance. He said something like, ‘Hi, how are you?’ I was already in escape mode and shocked him by pushing past and running. I was so amped up, I couldn’t relax for hours and didn’t eat until the next day. Trust your survival instincts!”
—Anonymous, 60, TX
8. “I agreed to meet a guy at the local oyster bar — we had matched on a dating website. Right away, instead of shaking hands, he pulled me close and kissed me. Instant red flag. He started talking to a couple sitting next to us, and I overheard him tell them his name…which was different from what he told me. I called him out on it. He laughed and said he used a lot of nicknames. Red flag number 2. Not long after, when he got up to use the restroom, a woman who had been watching us came over. She asked if I knew him. I explained it was a first, sort of casual date. She showed me his picture on her phone and told me to run fast. Turns out he was a known felon, habitual liar, and cad. When he came back, I told him I had to go. He walked me to my car and tried to grab me for a kiss. I pushed him away and loudly told him to back off. I got in, locked the door, and told him never to contact me again.”
“That night, I reported him to the dating site as a con and urged them to block him. My gut knew something was off from the start. Follow your gut and always meet in well-lit public places.”
—Anonymous, 71, NH
9. “There was this guy I knew, always super friendly and helpful. He gave me weird vibes, but I brushed it off as him being awkward. He always invited me to his apartment to hang out, do homework, or use the pool. My gut always said, ‘DON’T DO IT,’ so I politely declined. Months later, I saw him on the news. Child sexual abuse images. Hidden cameras in his bathroom. He had been secretly recording female guests. Immediately understood why my gut kept saying, ‘EFF NO!'”
—Anonymous, 30, NV
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10. “I was a decent student in high school. As long as I kept my grades up, my mom let me skip school, which I did often. One of my male ‘friends’ asked me to skip one day and come to his house. I initially agreed, but as the day got closer, my gut kept telling me not to go. When I told him I changed my mind, he got mad. He said if I didn’t come, we couldn’t be friends anymore. OK, bye. About a month later, another guy friend told me what had actually been planned that day. It was so bad, he said he had been praying I wouldn’t show up. Prayers answered!”
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—Anonymous, 59, PA
11. “I’d always had a weird feeling about my then-boyfriend and our close female friend. When we got together, I asked if anything had ever happened between them. He said no, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. Eventually, she got pregnant with her husband, and I arranged her baby shower. The day before she was due, she insisted on going out for drinks with me, him, and some other friends. She was being really weird and barely able to move because she was so pregnant. The next morning, I checked his phone while he was in the shower. I found messages showing they had been sleeping together for years — before I got with him, and throughout her pregnancy. The last message was from her in the labor room: she told him she loved him and wished he were the baby’s father. So twisted. So messed up. Wish I’d trusted my gut before wasting time on either of them.”
—Anonymous, 44, UK
12. “I was on my own, making my way home in a taxi. The driver kept staring at me through the rearview mirror. It was like he was sizing me up. I instantly felt nervous and unsafe. My instinct kicked in — I had to get out. I pulled out my phone and pretended to call my boyfriend. I said, loudly, that I’d be home in 10 minutes (I was single at the time and didn’t have a boyfriend). When we got to the bottom of my hill, I told the driver to stop. I got out and walked the rest of the way home. I thought about calling the police, but figured I didn’t have much to report. ‘This taxi driver is weird’ wouldn’t get much action. Two weeks later, I saw an article online about a drunk teenage girl who had been driven out to the countryside and sexually assaulted by a local cab driver. When they described the man and his car, I realized it was the same driver. Apparently, other women had already contacted the police about him.”
“Thankfully, they eventually caught and prosecuted him. That night, my instinct told me I was in danger. I’ve never sobered up so fast in my life.”
—Anonymous, 57, UK
13. “I was hitchhiking up Mass Ave in Cambridge with my friend Omar and my girlfriend. We were in a car with a guy when Omar overheard the driver talking — in Spanish — about a plan to kill Omar and kidnap us girls. Luckily, Omar, who was from Cuba, understood everything they were saying. At the next light, we all threw open the doors and literally crawled out into the street. Bruised, shaken, but alive. So thankful our blonde, blue-eyed friend spoke Spanish and saved our lives. This happened in 1969. I’m now 79.”
—Anonymous, 79, VT
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14. “I broke up with a boyfriend who had lied throughout our relationship. He talked me into meeting for one last date to ‘talk things over.’ A few hours before he was supposed to pick me up, I called his mother and asked her to tell him not to come. I had this feeling of doom I couldn’t shake. A few days later, I found out his car had been stolen that weekend — and he refused to report it because there was an unregistered gun inside. I doubt I’d still be around if I’d gone on that date.”
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—Anonymous, 75, NJ
15. “In my 40s, a man started showing interest in dating me, but he never actually said so. He was arrogant, spoke badly about his ex, and gave off a dominant, manipulative vibe. The more I interacted with him, the more uneasy I felt. I didn’t even find him attractive. Eventually, I asked a mutual friend about him. What I learned made me back away immediately: This guy had questionable sexual attitudes, cheated on his taxes, and cheated his clients. I was out of there fast. Never looked back.”
—Anonymous, 68, MN
16. “I’ve always been intuitive. When I was pregnant, my husband suddenly started traveling every weekend. He usually only traveled once a month. That weekend, he took our personal car instead of the work truck and mentioned he might not be back until Monday. Something felt off. I was sitting in the living room when a strong gut feeling hit me: go look in the truck. I had never done that before, but I grabbed the keys, went outside, and opened the storage bin on the left side. Tools. Then I opened the one on the right. New clothes. New cologne. New shoes. Things I’d never seen before. And pictures of a partially clothed woman. I was crushed, but I was prepared. I got the money from the bank and steeled myself for what was coming. My intuition had warned me again. And it gave me time to act before he could leave for good.”
—Anonymous, 77, MS
17. “In college, I went to a frat party with a friend. We had a good time — drinks, games, the usual. I was ready to go, but my friend was drunk and wouldn’t get up from the couch. Suddenly, some guy swooped in, sat next to her, put his arm around her, and said, ‘Don’t worry, we’ll take care of her.’ Even through my own drunken haze, something felt wrong. I said, ‘No, you won’t,’ grabbed her arm, threw it over my shoulder, and started hauling her out. I scanned the room, looking for other girls to back me up, but we were surrounded by guys all staring at her like prey. We noped out of there. I never went back. Years later, she messaged me on Facebook and thanked me for getting her out. Frat bros are gross.”
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—Anonymous, 42
18. “I was married to someone who traveled for work. He had been gone for several days when our 9-year-old daughter pointed out that she hadn’t talked to him. I said, ‘Let’s call him!’ and started dialing (this was back when we had landlines). But as I did, I suddenly had a vivid, overwhelming feeling: He was with another woman. Without even thinking, I told my daughter, ‘Your dad is doing something he shouldn’t be doing right now,’ and hung up the phone. Several days later, he returned from the trip and admitted he had ‘met someone.’ Soon after, my daughter and I left. When I told my mom, she gasped. She said that while watching TV earlier that week, our wedding photo — which had hung on her wall for over 10 years — suddenly fell and shattered. It felt like confirmation from the universe.”
—Anonymous, 58
19. “My best friend and I were renting a place together. One night, I got up to go to the bathroom, and a man walked in on me while I was peeing. I didn’t know my roommate had anyone over. He just stood there, staring at me. Didn’t apologize. Didn’t leave. Just watched. I finished and told him, ‘Hey, I’m going to the bathroom here. You need to leave.’ He hesitated but finally left. His eyes had said, ‘I can take you if I want to.’ He was over 6 feet tall. When I told my roommate, she brushed it off. Said I was jealous because my boyfriend never stayed over. I told her there was something seriously wrong with a man who just stands and stares at a woman on the toilet. She kept seeing him. He got her pregnant. They had a kid. Eventually, she found out he had been to jail for drugs and assault with a deadly weapon.”
“She finally left him after a grocery store trip where he took their baby out of the cart and threatened to drop him on the floor unless she gave him money for drugs. She escaped secretly, rented a truck, and moved while he was gone. If a man walks in on a woman using the bathroom and doesn’t instantly cover his eyes and apologize, something is very wrong. I’m just glad she got out.”
—Anonymous, 60, OH
20. “One evening after work, I went to Michael’s. I had a list and was eager to get home. My commute was 45 minutes one way, and I was wiped. The cashier was moving slowly, and I was getting anxious to leave. Then, a little voice in my head told me to wait. Stay. Linger as long as I could. So I did. On my way home, I found out why: a massive accident had happened on the interstate involving a semi and multiple cars. The semi had caught fire. One of the cars had hit it, causing a chain reaction. There were six squad cars, three ambulances, two fire trucks, and a two-hour cleanup. If I had left just a little earlier, I would have been caught in it. Frustrated, tired, and hungry — but incredibly lucky. That voice may have saved me.”
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—Anonymous
21. “I was in a long line at the bank with my two very young kids and three other young children I was babysitting. A man came and stood behind me. I didn’t see his face right away, but the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I became super anxious. Without saying anything, I quickly left the bank with all five kids in tow. When I turned and saw his face, my stomach started cramping. We had walked to the bank from a laundromat, so we went back to finish our laundry. While I was folding clothes, alarms went off. Suddenly, police swarmed the bank. Later, I saw the news, and the bank had been robbed by the man who was standing behind me. I could have been trapped inside with five children. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT, LADIES!”
—Anonymous
22. “I was driving south on the interstate in Southern Colorado, on a stretch of highway with no services. As I was about to pass a semi in the left lane, I saw a gust of wind kick up dirt to the right side of the road. Something told me to hang back and wait to pass. Seconds later, that same gust slammed into the semi, pushing it directly into my lane. If I had passed, I would have been hit and possibly sent flying into the grass median — or worse, into oncoming traffic. I always stay aware while driving, and it’s helped me avoid several close calls. Defensive driving really can save your life.”
—Anonymous, 43, CO
23. “He asked me out for a lunch date, and during the meal, I was charmed by his personality. But something about the way he talked and acted made me uneasy. On what was technically our first ‘real’ date, we ran into some guys he knew. He said they were ‘business associates’ who just happened to be at the same place. Later, he tried to take me somewhere quiet to talk. I had no interest in seeing him again — the ‘business associates’ were a red flag. As a multiple rape survivor, my gut said I was walking into a setup — most likely to be raped. I panicked, lied, and said I was on my period. I silently prayed and hoped for the best. He turned the car around and dropped me off. I was beyond grateful. When I got home, I felt sick, violated, and shaken — the same way I had after previous assaults. A few days later, he called and, in a tone like a boss giving instructions, told me to pack an overnight bag for our next date. It would take place in a hotel room.”
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“I started laughing. Hard. The kind of uncontrollable, can’t-breathe laughter that makes you cry. He was speechless. Once I regained composure, I said I’d call back. I never did. Later, I recognized him in the paper — a real estate developer arrested for mortgage fraud and multiple murders. Turns out, he was also a pimp who ran a prostitution ring. I’m grateful God heard my prayer that night.”
—Anonymous
24. “I was in college, riding around with my boyfriend and his friend one night. He was driving my red Honda Prelude. We stopped at my house for something, and after that, I got this knot in my stomach. I lied and told him my mom had seen him driving my car and wasn’t OK with it — I needed to drive. We were drinking and smoking. The two of them started talking trash to me and making moves. The guy in the backseat was grabbing at me. I put my hand on the horn. They said it wouldn’t do anything. I didn’t panic. I drove straight to my boyfriend’s house and kicked them out. Then I dumped him. Immediately. Ladies, trust your gut every time. I probably would have been raped that night if I hadn’t listened to mine.”
—Anonymous
Your gut is powerful, and sometimes, it knows more than your brain does. Whether it was a quiet warning or a feeling you couldn’t ignore, we want to hear your story. Have you ever trusted your instincts and avoided something dangerous? What did your gut say, and were you right?
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE, which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
If you are concerned that a child is experiencing or may be in danger of abuse, you can call or text the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453(4.A.CHILD); service can be provided in over 140 languages.
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